Monday, 29 January 2018

Lets Talk About Weight, Baby!


Lets talk about weight, baby… Or, you know, let’s not. It’s not exactly a nice and easy subject, is it?
Whether you are too fat, too thin, too muscular or a ‘normal’ weight, it’s always uncomfortable. 
Sometimes it’s because of your own body hand-ups. 
Sometimes you fear a dose of honesty. 
Sometimes you fear for hurting the feelings of others. 
Most of the time, it’s a combination of all of it.

However, the simple fact is, people of the world are getting heavier. Obesity is rising at alarming rates throughout the world. 
Here, in the UK, our NHS is buckling under the pressures placed on it and – like it or not – people not taking accountability for their own health is a huge part of the problem it faces.

My background is in biomedical science. 
Throughout my academic life – then work life, until a role switch – the dangers of being overweight, of obesity, and lack of exercise were drummed into my skull. 
I know the risks... But nothing brought home the risks quite like a 39 year old relative dying over New Year as a result of Cardiovascular disease and a stroke.
39 years old.
I am 32.

I can comfort myself with random platitudes that I am no where  near the size of my relative. 
When I look in the mirror, I  can focus solely on my face and studiously avoid taking a good long look at myself, but for how long? 
I can blame my hypothyroidism, but it’d be a lie… I’m medicated and stable. 
I can avoid it for as long as I like and refuse to change how I live, but at what point do I say enough is enough?
Is it when I go from being boarderline obese? To ‘proper’ obese?
Pah! 
‘Boarderline obese’… ‘Proper obese’ just more lies I tell myself. 
I AM obese. 
The fact that losing 3kg is enough to knock me back into simply ‘overweight’ category isn’t much of a comfort!

Do I say enough is enough when I develop type 2 diabetes? 
Do I say enough is enough when I develop angina? 
Hypertension? 
Or what about when have a heart attack? 
Or a stroke?
Is it when I become as round as I am tall?
When?
When is enough, enough?

My self-confidence is in the floor. 
Every time I buy new clothes, I cry. 
I do little exercise and get out of breath easily.
Since having my son – who is almost 7! – I have gained about 23kg. 
Before falling pregnant with my son I fluctuated between 58-60kg.
Post-pregnancy, I weighed around 65kg, which was pretty good all things considered... 
It was afterwards that everything went wrong.
I developed problems with my thyroid.
I switched from a highly active job to an office job.
My commute changed from walking around 3miles a day to car-office, office-car.
My stress level has steadily increased, so I eat sweets.
I sleep less so I eat more junk to fuel me through the day. 
It's a vicious cycle, this neglect and IT IS neglect and I've had enough.
It is time to start looking after myself.
It's time to truly start giving a shit about myself.
 It's time to change.
So, this is my war cry. 
This is me saying ENOUGH.

I am going to lose weight.

I just don’t know how I’m going to do that yet.
But I'm going to work it out.
Small changes.
Step by step.
Trial and error to see what works.
I'm going to lose it and I'm going to keep it off.
I am taking responsibility for myself.

Wish me luck?

🌻
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3 comments:

  1. I love your article dealing with that hard problem, keeping in bounds on the weight. I thank you for sharing the article. #LoveofBooks

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  2. A lot of great info here. Thanks for sharing #LuckyIsReading

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  3. I have been in your shoes. I've battled my weight since I was a teenager. Over the past three decades, I've lost and gained hundreds of pounds. Every time I've lost weight, I've inevitably gained it all back and then some, despite my convictions of saying "Never again." In the summer of 2016, a series of three weight related incidents happened to me, all within a 2-3 week time span. The final event was what sent me over the edge, so-to-speak, and I knew that I had had enough. Sometimes I think we just have to get to that point before we do something about it.

    I'm still fighting my fight and I wish you luck on yours. Most of all, please know that you are not alone. There are millions of us out there in the same boat, fighting the good fight everyday.

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